(Thank you to the kind individual who pointed out my error in referring to the anti-fascist protesters as anti-white supremacy protesters.  They were ‘antifa’ protesters who happened to be protesting white supremacy.)

When you hear the phrase ‘white supremacy’, what’s the first image that comes to mind?  Here in the good ol’ U. S. of A., you’re probably conjuring up images of crotchety old white men rolling out of bed in the middle of the night, cutting two eye slits in his sweat-stained pillowcase, and jumping into a pick-up, still wearing his white nightgown, and hurrying to attend a cross-burning in an empty field with a group of other grown men, hootin’ and hollerin’ like they tricked the baby-sitter into letting them stay up an hour past their bedtimes.

And it sounds about right…

White supremacy is stupid.

When talking about ‘White Supremacy’ just doesn’t cut it…

But it doesn’t matter how influential or powerful a person you are, the number of government officials you have on speed-dial, your net-worth, or your ‘impeccable family lineage’—the second an individual dons the white mumu and a conehead-mask, or decorates his or her body with any of the innumerable ‘white power’ slogans and insignia, that person forfeits his or her right to be considered seriously as a human being  Kind of like ‘instant karma’ (for all you Lennon fans out there).

Which means we should afford them the same attention and patronization we afford children throwing a shit-fit in the supermarket because he’s three and he “Wants it right now!”  And as much as I hate to say it, there’s little we can do to eliminate these irascible, festering racists from a legal standpoint.  Sadly, the right to free speech and the right to assembly are de facto guarantees of that other quintessential American right: The right to be a jackass, should you so choose.

White supremacy is REALLY stupid.

Stupidity: Irony’s best friend.

The events of Saturday in Charlottesville, VA, are a good example.  Protests outside a “Unite The Right” rally—a Republican faction comprised of ‘alt-right’ (political speak for ‘racist’) conservatives—turned deadly when a—(I’m just going to assume)—deranged, mentally anorexic, humanoid-shaped 20-year-old drove his car into the crowd of protesters already being dispersed by authorities.

Apparently, he didn’t think the alt-right was coming off as seriously and as unhinged as possible.

via GIPHY: I guess ‘white supremacists’ aren’t better at everything

Yesterday, in Chicago, protesters congregating at the corner of Clybourn and Western avenues briefly skirmished with police while protesting outside a criminal hearing for a man they believed to be connected to white supremacy and the far-right.  When the demonstration began holding up traffic, an altercation ensued, resulting in three anti-fascist protesters in cuffs.

Like the petulant child previously mentioned, these ‘alt-right’, neo-Nazi, white supremacist ‘whatever-the-hell-you-want-to-call-them’ feel the adolescent need to stir shit up once they get to feeling ignored for too long.  It’s the only way to keep their message in the headlines and the topic of discussion.

(And for anyone arguing that the emerging antifa groups are just as bad, remember that you’re defending people who use ‘Nazi’ when asked their political views—aren’t we supposed to learn from the mistakes of the past, not repeat them?)

White supremacy is stupid

If only…

Which is why it is my inexpert advice that we, the people, stop calling them by their preferred pet names, like the ‘KKK’, ‘neo-Nazis’, etc., and instead refer to them as things like… A.S.S—American Separatist Society—or, ‘Nazis 2: Neo-Nazis—The Final-er Solutionists (Finishing What Our Forebearers Couldn’t).  How about ‘The Exceptions To The (Darwinian) Rule’.

Or we can stick to the more informal insults, such as: ‘arcane, inbred, imbecilic, snaggle-toothed, jingoist-Kool-Aid-drinking, slack-jawed, mouth-breathing, phrenologically suspect, lead-based-paint-chip-eating, wrapping-themselves-in-a-burning-flag ‘patriots’ too simple to read Paleolithic cave art and so ordinary even the Nazis would’ve said, “Eh, I dunno—they seem kind of, well, bekloppt.”

You know, in case you’re ever short on ways to truthfully and accurately depict racists.

Then again, arguing for ‘white supremacy’ is like arguing that world is flat.  Essentially, arguing against white supremacy with a white supremacist is like trying to reason with a particularly stupid rock—agonizing, stupefying, blank-stare silence.  A waste of valuable energy and slightly less productive than a self-lobotomy.  Or seeing how far you can drive on the highway with your eyes closed.

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Jack Kehres

Jack Kehres