On a nice day, there’s few activities greater than heading to a park. Whether it’s for a relaxing afternoon with a book, or a rowdy hang sesh with friends and booze, the best of times can be hindered by someone else’s shitty behavior or actions. Here’s 12 ways to not be a prick at the park.
For the love of God, whatever you bring with you, take the remnants with you when you leave. This one is so simple, yet so often forgotten. Bottles, food wrappers, beer cases, bottle caps, etc. – pick them up. Your mom isn’t there to pick up after you! Even if the trash isn’t ‘yours’ but belongs to someone in your group, don’t dodge responsibility – pick it up, you f*cking child!
2 – Don’t Force Everyone to Listen to Your Music
Just because you like your jams, it doesn’t mean everyone will – your taste might totally suck. Even if it’s a great song, a classic, use headphones for solo listening and low volume if it’s a group gathering – this isn’t a nightclub, no one should have to shout over the music.
Is that person’s stuff getting jacked? Is that dude harassing some girl? Is that guy whose been sleeping for three hours starting to resemble a hot tamale? Speak up.
If you just dropped a new track and want to get people interested in your music, realize that walking around pushing your CD is ridiculous – it’s annoying, and few people even have CD players anymore. If you’re jazzed about your weird cult and want new members, pushing your pamphlets on people is absurd, especially at the park (people came to chill). It is up to you to think of creative ways to engage people and get them interested in what you’re hustling, and be okay with taking ‘no’ for an answer. Also, know the park and the clientele – if you’re someplace full of breeders, strollers and babies, don’t try to sell weed. The more annoying you are, the more people will complain and the more reason cops have to be dicks.
5 – Watch Your Dog & Pick Up its Poop
Dogs make everything better! Help keep this true by watching and picking up after yours. Keep an eye on your pup’s whereabouts – don’t let them wonder off. They’re generally all pretty nice to people, especially those with food, but even the sweetest of dogs can be assholes to other dogs. Don’t let a nice day at the park be clouded with some Michael Vick-esque entertainment. Equally, if not more importantly, pick up your dog’s f**king poop – omg, seriously! If you’re someone who regularly fails to pick up after your dog – you are a complete asshole and a gigantic prick at the park.
When parks are crowded, babies seem even smaller. Before you go running through an area, throwing a frisbee or football, take a look for babies and little kids. Don’t step on a baby and don’t bulldoze a small child.
Whether its a weird drone thing, a frisbee, a football, something you’re juggling or whatever else people fly around in the name of fun, do so with caution. If you hit someone in the head, even if by complete accident, you’re a jerk and people will hate you. Don’t be that person. Play your sport away from the crowded areas.
Do your best to not step on someone’s blanket and avoid walking directly through a group of people chilling on a blanket. If someone’s having a conversation, your ass in their face and foot on their bag of chips is incredibly annoying.
9 – Make Sure Your PDA Doesn’t Turn Gross
Warm weather, pheromones, booze – all things that can make grass seem sexier. Just remember other people are around, AND that most don’t want to see things get too intense.
If you’re having a family reunion, a giant birthday party, etc. remember that you didn’t actually reserve the park. It’s a public space. More than likely people will be respectful of your space if you’re respectful to them. This is a time to remember how far a simple ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ will get you. Also, if you have a ton of extra beer and food, share the wealth. If everyone does this, it will eventually work out in your favor.
If you know you and your friends are a rowdy bunch who will be loud, smoking, drinking, etc. maybe consider setting up your camp not directly next to a family with young kids. I’m not saying censor yourself, just you know … be cool. Same goes with nudity. Wanna be the naked guy? Cool! Just feel out the crowd. At the same time, parents, if you’re going to be super sensitive about your kids, i.e. swearing, smoke, booze, music, etc., consider going to a more kid-friendly/possibly less fun park.
Be easy going. Be nice. Be chill.